Wednesday, September 4, 2013

He's Finally Perfect!

I have always said that Swen is my ALMOST perfect baby. I hear stories about other babies his age, and they scare me. Things like, "He won't eat" or "I can't take her anywhere" or "He bites everyone." The list goes on and on.

Swen hasn't really had any of these typical toddler behaviors (yet). He is very easy going and loves life. He explores the world as if nothing could go wrong. He eats all the time and has yet to bite or hit anyone. I actually prefer to take him out on errands rather than be bored with him at home. He is so easy to take places. And he doesn't cry very much either. The one thing that was stopping him from being absolutely perfect was how he pretty much refused to sleep more than two hours in a row. Ever.

UNTIL NOW!!

For months I have searched for anything and everything I could find to get Swen to sleep. And I tried most everything too! About a month ago, I gave up looking. I hated failing, and nothing seemed to be designed to meet Swen's needs. Then, when I wasn't even looking, I came upon this article:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I still don't know how I found it. I'm sure it was an answer to prayer (finally!). It was the only thing I ever read that met two criteria. First, it described Swen's problems perfectly--getting up every hour and only wanting to nurse. Second, and most importantly, it was a gentle, peaceful way to teach Swen to sleep. The second I read it I KNEW this was the answer to our problems. I typed out a checklist and stuck it on the fridge to motivate me because I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and it is supposed to take a couple of weeks, and I didn't want to give up. I could check off each night and watch myself get closer!

Following the plan, the first 3 nights I was to nurse Swen when he woke up but not let him fall asleep while nursing. I needed to lay him down in his crib while he was still awake. This was rough. He didn't like it one bit. But I was to stay right next to him, pat him, reassure him, sing to him, etc. until he fell asleep. After a couple nights, I could already see a difference!

After the third night, it happened to be our 15 month doctor appointment. I just switched to a new pediatrician, and I know he was another answer to my prayers. I explained our sleeping problems and also mentioned the new plan I was trying. He was so kind and non judgmental and made me feel like I was doing the exact right thing. I mentioned that I felt like everyone (including our previous doctor) kept telling me to let him "cry it out" alone in a room, so he would learn to self soothe and sleep through the night. I told him that this wasn't for us, and there has to be another way to fix this. His exact words were, "You need to do this gradually. Toddlers thrive with routine, and if you were to just change everything all at once by leaving him in a room to cry, there would be severe consequences, not only with his sleeping but with his entire life." He recommended to continue with the new plan, and to make sure Swen fell asleep in his crib right from the start. This way when he woke up in the night, he wouldn't be confused and wonder how he got into the crib. This was a huge change for us; I always nursed Swen and then rocked him to sleep and then laid him down.

However, I trusted this doctor and again felt like this was what I needed to do. So that night I laid Swen down and sang to him for 30 minutes until he fell asleep in his crib. Then I cried and cried. This is exactly what I wanted; still, it was hard for me not to put him to sleep the way I had for the past 15 months. The next four nights of the plan involved not nursing at all during the night, but instead, picking Swen up when he awoke, snuggling him, singing to him, and they laying him back down when he was still awake. This was harder, but I was going to do it, and sure enough, I continued to see a difference!

Now after two weeks of both the plan I found and the doctor's suggestion, Swen is sleeping through the night! He has slept through the night for the past 3 nights, so I think it is for real. The crib is in our room (which we love) and if he does wake a little, I just say, "night night" and he goes back to sleep. It was the longest two weeks of my life. Physically because I was getting even less sleep than before. Emotionally because I am nursing Swen less than I used to, and that has been much harder for me than I anticipated. I never had postpartum depression, but I could see myself getting post-weaning depression if that exists. Currently, he is only nursing when he wakes up in the morning, and that's it. I hope he doesn't give that up for quite a while.

I am so grateful that I randomly found this sleep plan and also found a great doctor at the same time. Prayer does work! I have no idea why my "Swen sleep issues" prayers took FOREVER to be answered, but I'm sure there's a reason, so I'll try not to complain.

Anyway, until my next Swen trial arises, I will enjoy my completely perfect boy!

Once morning comes, he still gets into bed. BEST EVER.

Hanging out in the gym at church.