Swen... and Life

These last few weeks have been a time of several new things, along with lots of old great things still going on. Let's start with one of the new and very exciting things first. I've been cooking! That's right, me cooking is something very new. There are several reasons why I don't cook: I'm not good at it, I'm picky, it never tastes good, leftovers are worse than the already bad food I ate the first night, and I can never figure out what to make.  Because of this long list of things, Matt and I go out to eat way too much, and when we don't go out, we have the college diet of Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mom. It is the best thing I've ever done in my life. Saying I love it is an understatement. With this wonderful blessing comes a lot less money. Going out to eat costs money, so we aren't going out, and that means someone has to cook. Matt would cook if he wasn't working and going to school all day long, but he is, so that leaves it all up to me. So far I've cooked tacos, stroganoff, grilled chicken, enchiladas, hamburgers, and cake. Surprisingly, they all turned out edible! I'm really proud of myself, and I hope to be able to find more things to try because those things will get boring super fast. Feel free to share any easy recipes for me! Also, any advice on budgeting would be awesome. I'm not good at it already.

Matt is back going to school at the University of Utah. To put it mildly, Matt isn't the biggest fan of school. He has many reasons, such as school is "overrated" or "pointless" and "not worth it because people can make good money with out a degree." However, somewhere deep down he knows that he needs to go. That reminds me of another common phrase I hear in the same sentence as school, "never ending." That is where he is wrong. As we were looking over his audit report, we found out that he only has two semesters left after this one. Hooray! Swen and I miss having him around, but we are glad he's there and even more glad that he is almost done!

Now with some old things. Swen is still adorable as ever! I can't believe it but he gets cuter every day. He giggles, smiles, laughs, and cries of course. He is still sleeping in our bed. Actually it is no longer our bed. It is now my bed. Don't worry, Matt and I are still happily married (most of the time!:) ) but Matt is so busy and needs sleep. It is hard for him to sleep well with Swen and me in a queen bed, so he's been sleeping out on the couch. I thought this would be a short term thing, but he is still out there 3  months since it all started. We keep thinking maybe we should try putting Swen in his crib, but we always think of tons of reasons why we shouldn't. First, his sleep schedule is finally becoming bearable, so we don't want to mess it up. More importantly, I really really love having him in bed with me. I love snuggling with him all night long. I also love that he doesn't have to cry loud before I wake up to feed him. Most times I wake up when he starts ferociously eating his hand, so he doesn't even have to cry. Matt really wants to be able to sleep in bed with us too and snuggle with Swen all night, so we are hoping to buy a king bed sometime soon with all the extra money we having sitting around.

Some things Swen loves are
- Rocking in the rocking chair
- Walking around the house
- Nursing... all the time :) good thing I love it too!
- Napping on people (oh darn, I have to stop everything and snuggle him during his naps)
- Taking baths
- Being read to (he really does love it already!)
- Watching Baby Einstein movies
- People shaking rattles and keys for him ( he still can't hold them on his own-soon hopefully)
- Getting his diaper changed

Now the longer list of things he does NOT love:
- His car seat (really he screams as if someone is torturing him every time he's in it)
- Loud noises that scare him
- Being switched from person to person
- Being put down  or sleeping by himself except at night
- The grocery store, mall, restaurants, the bank, friends' houses. Let's just say leaving our house in general is high on the list of things he doesn't like.
- People moving when he's napping on them
- Having a messy diaper
- Pacifiers (probably because I am crazy and I hate them, so I don't give him one except in the car when he's screaming, but then he screams louder and spits it out. PLEASE don't think I'm judging anyone who uses them. I'm just crazy and weird.)
- Being away from me for too long (the question Swen hears all the time is "Do you just want your mommy?" He will let others hold him for a little bit, but then he wants me back, and of course I love him so much and we are so connected. I swear that right when I start to miss him, he starts to cry and I get to take him back.
- Having a stuffy nose


Being his Mommy is the most amazing thing in the world. He's my best friend, and I love being with him all the time. Look at him; can you blame me?

 Fat Swen

 Poor Kitty... she was replaced.

 Cutest baby ever

Funny Video

Smiles!

Last time we went took Swen to the doctor, she said that he should be starting to smile. I got a little nervous because he hadn't smiled too much yet. I am the biggest worrier there is, so I got all scared something was wrong. I think Swen knew I was scared because, seriously, the next day he started smiling all the time. Now he's at the age where every time I look at him, he gets a huge smile on his face! He actually smiles for most anyone, which is so fun. I try to capture pictures of it every time. So here they all are!

He looks totally bald in most of these, but he really isn't. It is more of a receding hairline with a cute little mullet of thick dark hair in the back. He is also starting to get the bald ring around his head from lying down and moving his head around. It took him a while because he never wanted to be put down. He also never slept more than 2 hours in a row by himself at night. However, this is all changing! He now loves to lie on his back and kick and punch like crazy. He just smiles and giggles while he kicks away. I got really into watching MMA fighting while I was pregnant, so maybe he wants to be a fighter. I hope not because I would be worrying about him all the time. Here is a little video of him kicking and punching.

In addition to playing and kicking by himself, he is sleeping great! Matt and I let Swen determine his schedule. We don't put him down to bed or to nap at certain times, or make him eat at certain intervals. We just go with whatever he is telling us. If he's hungry, I feed him, and sometimes it is every hour, and sometimes he will go 3 hours. If he's tired, we rock him to sleep and hold him so he will will stay asleep as long as he wants. Now, at 3 months, he has mostly set up his own little schedule. He takes two big naps, one in the morning, and one in the early evening. He then goes to bed around 10 p.m. and sleeps until about 3:30 a.m.! Yes, that is five in a half hours, in case you are counting like I do. He then sleeps until about 7 a.m. and is up for the day. Of course this is only the usual. He still has bad nights and bad days sometimes. Monday, for example, was NOT a good day. He woke up at 7 a.m. and could not fall asleep again until 10:45 p.m. It was awful, and nothing Matt or I did helped. It was a full day of him crying and being passed back and forth between the two of us. I kept thinking that he would be an only child forever because I didn't want another baby ever again. Usually, I am already talking about what all the next babies are going to be like and how excited I am to have more. I know we need to wait a little while, but it is just so fun, and I want lots and lots more babies (sorry Matt)!

Swen is also developing some of our traits. For example, he gets really grumpy when he wakes up. He cries and stretches and cries for a little bit before getting happy. This is just like Matt. When Matt and I first got married I always thought he was mad at me in the morning. He would wake up and not talk to me at all; it wouldn't just be for a little while, but for like an hour! Then, of course, I didn't help because I would keep trying to talk to him, and then I'd get super short answers. I would then yell, "Why are you so mad at me?" He would respond, "I'm not mad; I just woke up. But I'm going to get mad if you keep asking if I'm mad." Ha ha! I quickly learned to stop talking to him in the morning after he has just woken up.

Swen also gets really grumpy really fast when he is hungry or tired. He will just start screaming and eating his hand when he wants to eat. That is an easy problem to fix because I just feed him whenever he wants. When he's tired, it can be a little harder. He fights sleep, and nothing will help him until he finally crashes. This is just like me! I don't even see the hungry grumps coming on until it is too late. All of a sudden I will be really mean and grouchy. Then I eat and I'm all better. I'm even more grouchy when I'm tired! When I used to teach, I would come home to Matt holding a Diet Coke and a blanket forcing me to lie down and watch TV until I fell asleep. In his own best interest, he would wait to talk to me until after I woke up from my nap.

Something Matt and I both have in common is our stubbornness. I don't think babies can be stubborn at three months old, but hopefully he doesn't  follow in our footsteps. It is super annoying. We are the kind of people that if you tell us to do something, we will for sure do the opposite. One time I told Matt that to make Swen happy, Matt should stand up and walk around with him. He now refuses to stand up and walk with Swen if I'm around. I've caught him doing in when I'm in another room, though. Matt once told me that when Swen is fussy, going outside calms him down. Matt's right, but because he told me to do it, I don't when he's around. Poor baby Swen and his stubborn parents. Good thing we have lots of good qualities for Swen to inherit in order to outweigh the others. The other trait you may have noticed in the pictures is his rapid weight gain. I am hoping this isn't coming from either of us. :) He is getting HUGE! I absolutely love it. He is the roundest, fattest "little" baby ever. He just gets rounder and rounder every day. His stomach looks like a tire around his waist, and he has rolls on his arms and legs. People that don't see him every day are amazed by how big he is every time they see him.  He is also rockin' the biggest double chin. When he was born, he had skin under his chin just hanging there waiting to bulk up, and it sure did! Look how cute he is.



He loves to sit up on the couch like a big boy.

My grandma got us these little Converse socks in every color. I'm obsessed with them! You can also see his balding ring in the picture :)



He loves bath time!



Cutest little sleeper ever!

Swen next to his little preemie clothes. Crazy how much he's grown.

Opinions

Isn't having your own opinion great? Yes! So have caution as you read this blog post. It isn't anything except for me venting about things that are annoying me lately. I want to have a blog, so I can print it out every year and have a journal of our lives. Right now I'm annoyed! So, if you don't want to read about my problems, then don't continue. I might also add if you don't like Obama or you're planning to vote for Romney or you're conservative in any way, this would also be a good time to stop. So now the only people reading this blog post are probably my immediate family and me. Don't get me wrong; I love all of my Romney voting friends and family. In fact, some of my best friends will be voting for him. One of the best things about living here is that we all get to have opinions and vote the way we want. Yay! I also get to write about whatever I want because it's my blog. It is sort of Matt's too, but he doesn't write anything or have strong opinions about much, so for this post we will call it mine. I'm going to say it one more time, don't read this if you're going to hate me for not liking Romney.

In the upcoming election, we have President Obama seeking re-election, and then opponent Mitt Romney. Because Romney is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, people seem to think that anyone who is LDS is voting for him. I write this to say that this assumtion is not true. I love my religion, but I do not love the politics of Mitt Romney.  Luckily, I haven't heard much talk about it at church, which is great. I hope that continues through November when Romney loses. What I object to are the little Facebook comments that assume all LDS people are in favor of Romney, not the comments simply supporting him. Those are great! I'm just glad people are voting, regardless of whom they support. It's the comments like "God will make sure Romney wins" and "It will be so great to have someone of our faith be in charge." In our religion we believe in a current day prophet. If God wanted us to vote for someone, we would know! However, our prophet does not tell us how to vote. He encourages us over and over again to read and study both candidates, their views on the issues, and then to vote for whomever we think is best.  Also, just because someone follows one particular religion does not mean he or she would be the best president. I wonder if I ran, if all LDS people would vote for me.

My love for President Obama began almost four years ago when he won the election. I think his views are in the best interest of people of this country, ALL the people: the homeless, the rich, the immigrants, the U.S. born citizens, everyone! My most recent love for him has come with his passing of Obamacare. It is about time our country becomes like every other civilized country in the world. I mentioned in an earlier post about our hospital bills. I am finding that I have more and more bills coming! I have been paying $400 a month for insurance for the past four years. I think I went to the doctor once for strep throat, and Matt has never gone. Therefore, we have spent $6400 on insurance that wasn't for us. I know how insurance works, and my money is going for other people when they need it. That is wonderful, and I'm all about helping out other people. But then after paying all this money towards insurance, I have a baby, and now I owe tons more! I thought my out-of-pocket maximum was $3000 (this is what they told me on the phone). This information was only partially correct. As I kept getting bills, I called them again. They then told me that for ME the out-of-pocket maximum is $3000, but then Swen's is $4000 and Matt's is $3000. So insurance will pay 80% and we pay 20% until $10,000, and then they will take over. Right now we are up to $6,000.

I'm not writing this for pity because we can make small monthly payments and we'll be just fine. I'm writing this because there are so many things wrong with this.

1. I was a public school teacher, and my insurance was $400 a month. That was 20% of my monthly income.
2. Our out-of-pocket maximum is $10,000. Really? Where would a teacher get $10,000? That is 1/3 of my yearly salary.
3. Having a baby costs over $50,000.

Obamacare will not help our situation right now, but maybe in the future as it progresses it will help with future babies. While it isn't helping us immediately, it is helping so many other people in hard situations not even comparable to ours. People no longer are getting rejected from insurances due to illness. People aren't getting kicked off of insurance because they've reached their life maximum. The best thing of all is people are required to have insurance, which will then lower people's bills because we won't be making up for the bills of the uninsured. I am fully aware that taxes will go up because of this, and I am happy to have an increase in my taxes to help people in need.  Okay, enough of that. I hope nobody gets offended when reading this. I would be happy to read your blogs on your opinions :) Freedom of speech is the best.

On a totally different and maybe lighter note, something else bothering me is all the negativity towards moms who nurse their babies. I feel like everywhere I go, someone has something to say about why I should give Swen pumped milk in bottles or stop nursing and give him formula. Just think, I wouldn't have to nurse in public, and I could leave Swen whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about him when I'm out at the gym or running quick errands. I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice. First of all, I don't mind feeding him in public (I'm getting used to the bad looks). I have a cover up that works wonderful, so it is very easy. I find it a little annoying that our country has such a problem with it that we need to cover up, and no other countries do. But I do live here, and I like it here, so I am happy to cover up if it makes people feel better. However, I will not go into bathrooms and hide. I've written before that I prefer to have Swen with me, so when I do leave, it is for short periods at a time. Usually just to go work out as I try to lose my last 5 pounds of baby weight. About 90% of the time he's fine the hour I'm gone, and when he gets randomly hungry, I am more than happy to speed home to feed him.

Being a mom could be comparable to voting. The best thing about it is that you get to choose to do it however you want! I think that as long as you are feeding your baby the way you want, then you are doing what's best for your baby. It doesn't matter if it's bottle or breast. If mom is happy ,then baby is happy. I wouldn't think to go up to a mom with a bottle and say, "Have you ever thought about nursing him?" or "nursing worked way better for me." Those are the kinds of comments I get, and I wouldn't be surprised if  moms who bottle feed get these kind of comments too. It's sad because as a new mom, all you think about is doing what's best for your baby, so any sort of comment makes you doubt yourself. Here are some little pictures I've seen that make me laugh.

If you have survived reading this blog so far, I'm impressed! I will try not to do another complaining blog for a while. In case you were wondering, our little family is still doing great. Matt and I love being parents more and more every day. Swen is the cutest thing ever. Matt's sweet cousin took some pictures of us. Here are a few of my favorites.

We also had a much delayed baby shower, and a wonderful blessing. Here are some of those pictures.

 That little white suit he's wearing was made by my grandma out of my wedding dresss which was also my mom's wedding dress. I love it!

Celebrating 2 Months

As of Thursday Swen is officially two months old! The first couple weeks that Swen was home went by pretty slowly. Matt and I decided that it was because we never had regular "night time." Being up every hour or two for days on end makes the days seem twice as long. Also, our pediatrician strongly encouraged us not to leave the house with him for a month, and of course we followed her advice, so that also made time go by slower. Swen is still not the best sleeper, but I guess I've gotten used to it because the last month in a half seem to have disappeared. Look how sweet he is. His hair is starting to fall out. Sad :(

I used to wonder what moms would do at home all day with one little baby. They must be bored, lazy, or just really bad at managing their time. I think my rude judging may be the reason Swen is such a "high needs baby." I read in one of my favorite books not to call a baby fussy, but rather high needs. So that's what I do. He still loves to be held all the time, and usually he makes us stand up while holding him. He LOVES to be put way up over my shoulder while I walk around the house, so he can see everything around him. Somehow he notices when I sit down. He must be a genius. When he is sleepy, he likes to rock until he is asleep. Once he is asleep, he doesn't like to be disturbed at all. Even just going from my arms to someone else, he screams for a second, then falls back asleep. The only time he will sleep by himself for any length of time is at night (which I am grateful for). Like I said earlier, he is a genius, so he knows that when it is day time, he can be held while he's asleep, and that's what he wants. He also hates his car seat. I hear of people going for a drive to put their babies to sleep. Swen cries the second he gets in it. I don't blame him one bit. I would hate to have my chest strapped down for any period of time. Writing this paragraph reminds me one of my pet peeves. I apologize ahead of time if this is a question you have asked me. Every where I go both people I know and strangers ask me the question, "Is he a good baby?" My initial reaction is to yell right back and say, "YES! Of course he is a good baby. He has only been on earth for two months, and he came straight from heaven." It is a silly question because there is no such thing as a bad baby. I know people aren't meaning anything negative by this question, but I guess I get mad because some people might think Swen is not a "good" baby. He is more than good; he is perfect. And he is very high needs. :) Here is Matt doing work while tending to Swen's high needs. He is such a great dad and husband. I love him so much.

For the most part I really love how needy Swen is. I love to snuggle with him, talk to him, walk with him, and rock him. It's hard sometimes, but I really try to cherish my time with him because I can already see that time goes by so fast, and soon he may not want to snuggle. The one time I don't love it so much  is when there is housework to do. While I was teaching the last four years, I hated doing housework. I was so exhausted when I got home, and I usually had school for the next day on my mind, so housework was not a priority. I would put it off until it was awful, and then finally cave and do it. Then I would get grumpy while I was cleaning. Matt would always go clean in a totally different room from me because I would be so grumpy. Now that I am home full time, I really enjoy cleaning. I love that I can be in a clean house every second of the day, always having  a made bed, and always being caught up on laundry so it never gets too overwhelming. The last two months have mostly consisted of snuggling my perfect little boy or doing housework, and somehow those two things have made the last two months fly by. Here we are snuggling in the middle of the night. He looks so tired yet doesn't want to sleep.

However, this last weekend consisted of a lot of exciting things besides snuggling Swen (which is also very exciting). First was his two month appointment. I've been so excited to go and see how much he weighs. When he was born, he was 5 pounds 6 ounces. When his pediatrician told me that this was in the second percentile, I cried. It just made me so worried that he was so small. I knew he was little, but hearing the percentile made him sound even smaller, and I wasn't prepared for a premature baby. I then had to continue going in for weigh-ins weekly to ensure he was still gaining weight and that breastfeeding was working for him. In the hospital they told me that preemies don't breastfeed well and chances are he would need to be tube fed through his nose, and then eventually bottle fed. This didn't stop me from trying, and I am so lucky to have a baby who LOVES to nurse. It did take some effort and time, but it was so worth it. So when we went in the next week he was still gaining weight, and he had moved up to the 4th percentile! His doctor was so proud of him moving up that much, and she said we didn't need to come in anymore for weigh-ins until his two month check up. Are you ready for this? He weighed 11 pounds 2 ounces and is now in the 35th percentile! Best news ever. He also went up from the 5th to the 17th percentile in height and head circumference. Here he is at the doctor. 

The other great part about his two-month appointment is that I was reassured of his health and development. I worry all the time. I really mean all the time. In the beginning my fears were rational. Is his breathing strong enough (he was being watched because of how early he was)? Is he gaining weight? Is he going to the bathroom enough so I know he is well fed? It then went a little crazy, but probably normal for some moms, like the fear of SIDS. Then the worry went into full blown crazy. I would google things on my phone in the middle of the night and decide he had things such as Down's Syndrome or cancer. Yeah, it was bad. I think that part of the reason I worry is that my life thus far has been easy. Though not perfect by any means, I know of so many people who have such hard struggles in life, and I never have. Life has always gone the way I've wanted. It never came easy, and I had to work for things, but I have never had anything "bad" happen. Sometimes I don't feel deserving of my infinite blessings, so I worry something will happen to Swen because he means everything to me now. I know my fears aren't rational, but in the middle of the night, they sure seem real. At the doctor I was assured that he was perfectly healthy in every way. The only negative part of the appointment were his shots. He was not a happy camper the rest of the day or night. This is how he was the entire day.


Luckily the next morning he felt much better because it was Neil Diamond Day! My mom got us tickets to go see him when I was just a few months pregnant. He is one of our favorite singers. Swen would only have been a month old at the time of the concert, had he been born near his due date, so he would have been able to sleep at home with Matt during the concert. Many things were wrong with this assumption. First, he came 4-1/2 early. Second, he doesn't have any sort of sleep pattern yet, and when he gets mad and wants food, there is nothing that calms him down except to nurse. Lastly, Matt had to work that night. I wasn't going to miss this concert, so my mom called the stadium, and they said infants are more than welcome. Hooray! When we got in line at the stadium, people were looking at us with mean glares. I'm sure they thought, "Why would she bring her baby here?" I kept praying to myself that we would be sitting by nice people who like babies. Sure enough, the couple that came and sat by us were also die hard Neil fans, but they also loved Swen. The first thing they said to me was, "Nice job exposing him to good music early in life!" Throughout the whole concert, Swen slept and danced in our arms. Once it was over, everyone walking by stopped to tell me how cute he was, and how fun it was that I brought him. Neil is that great; he made baby haters into baby lovers! Here is my mom, Swen and I before we left.

It was a great weekend to celebrate our two months with baby Swen, and these next few weeks might be even better! My mom planned to throw a shower for me with some friends on June 2nd. The cute invites had gone out and everything. Then Swen came, so of course we had to cancel it. Now it is going to be this Saturday, and I'm so excited. Swen is also getting blessed in our church on Sunday, which is something I've been waiting for since he was born.  It will be surreal watching Matt bless our son! Oh, and my Grandma from Oregon is coming for the weekend, so she will finally get to meet Swen. Our next goal is getting up to Washington to meet my other grandma and up to Wyoming to meet Matt's grandma. Swen will also be taking his first airplane ride to California in a couple weeks. Disneyland here we come!

This blog is really long, but I have one last short story. Last week Matt said something like, "Poor little ear Swen." I had no idea what he was talking about, and then I looked, and Swen's right earlobe definitely sticks out! Just his ear lobe. Weird right? Then I asked my mom if she notcied his ear, and she said, "Yes, honey of course I noticed his ear." I look at him all day, and didn't realize his little earlobe sticks out on one side. How funny. You can see it pretty well in this picture.

Here are just two more of my favorite pictures. One is a boring day in church, so we use Swen to entertain us.

Even Though We Ain't Got Money

I've wanted to have kids ever since I was 14. Maybe I wanted them before then, but I don't really remember. When I was in 8th grade, my little brother Seth was born. From that day on I decided that being a mom is the best thing in the world. I woke up every morning (he was born in the summer time) and ran into my parents' bedroom to take Seth away. I would rock him and snuggle with him. When I turned 16 and could drive, I took Seth anywhere my mom would let me. My friends and I would take him to the mall, park, and the grocery store. I liked to pretend that he was my own kid, and I didn't care that people thought I was some horrible teen mom. Even if he was mine and I was a teen mom, I was a good one!

So of course when I got married, I couldn't wait to have kids. I definitely wanted time that Matt and I could enjoy being newlyweds, but after a couple years, we were ready! By ready I mean emotionally and spiritually, not financially. I also sort of mean I was ready, not we. Matt was a little scared for the whole kid thing. However, he is now the most amazing dad in the world, but that is a completely different blog post. Anyway, we (I) figured if we waited until we were perfectly financially ready for kids, we would never have them. Several people I know with kids have said to me, "If you wait until you're ready, you will never have them. Nobody is ever quite ready to have kids." So going with that advice and the fact that Matt is still in school, we decided that waiting until we had everything in "order" would take forever. And now we have our little perfect Swen. He is the cutest, most fun, and most expensive miniature person in the world. Oh and to top it off, I'm not going back to teaching next year. Why pay over half my paycheck for day care and the other half to attend therapy for being so depressed from leaving my baby all day? (I know many women don't mind going back to work at all, and I think that's wonderful. I am just not one of those women).

Kids are expensive, yes, but I thought we had that all planned out. Both Matt's and my parents have been so amazing in helping us get ready for Swen. We couldn't have done it without them. They have gotten us all the big things that we would need for him. Then my amazing friends at school threw me a wonderful shower, and I got even more things like his bassinet and tons of clothes and blankets. I went through all the lists online of things we would need, and we were set! Maybe kids are expensive, but babies aren't.

Yeah... I'm sure people with kids knew that those "getting ready lists" are all lies. Let's start with just the hospital bill. Swen's total cost was over $40,000. Even with insurance we owe over $3,000. Then since Swen was a preemie baby, we had several doctor's appointments after bringing him home. Every time I went, I had a $20 co-pay. Those add up quite fast. Then with the HELLP Syndrome, my recovery was harder, so I had several appointments myself after coming home, each one with a co-pay.

The doctors' and hospital bills are the things that we really HAVE to spend money on. Then there are all the things that I just really feel I need... even though I don't. When we found out Swen would be a boy, the shopping spree begun. I'm pretty sure my  mom and I bought out the entire Carter's store. I thought that would be enough. Technically, it is enough actually. But now that Swen's here, shopping got even better! Every time I walk by a baby store, I go in it and think how everything would be so cute on him. Then I buy everything. Finally, I told myself no more clothes. It worked for a couple weeks until I found this adorable store that puts one outfit on sale every Tuesday for 40% off. And every time, it is one of its cutest outfits! So now I limit myself to just one outfit a week. Well, one outfit a week unless it is a special occasion like his first Sunday at church. Then I need another new outfit. Needless to say I have a shopping problem.

DIAPERS! Yes, another big expense. Twenty-five dollars for a box of diapers will last me a couple of weeks right? I wish! Swen loves to use his diapers up as fast as he can. His favorite game is soiling a diaper right after I put a new one on him. We go through a pack about every 3 days. It's adorable and expensive. 

After reading this, many people would say that we should have waited to have a baby. For many people it would work best for them to wait, and that's great! Everyone is different. For us this was the perfect time to have Swen. He has given us more joy than we ever knew possible. At least 90% of Matt's and my conversations consist of "He's even cuter than 10 minutes ago" or  "Oh my gosh, look at what he's doing now!" I send him constant streams of pictures while he's at work, and he still gets home and runs right to him. When we're both home, it's a constant battle of who gets to hold him. We hold out on going to the bathroom or eating so we don't have to give him away. So even though we ain't got money, we are rich in every other way. That was a little cheesy, sorry. Here are some more pictures of him being perfect. One is with my brother Isaiah, one is in his new sling (another expense) at the mall shopping, and the others are just some of my favorites. I'm new to this blogging, so I haven't figured out how to put them throughout the post.

6 Weeks and Loving It

6 weeks ago today...

I don't remember much about it except for a nurse coming in and saying, "So, are you ready to have this baby?" Really? Is that the best way a nurse can think of to tell someone that she will be having her baby over 4 weeks early? Needless to say, it was a huge shock. Not only that, but I would need a C-section due to something called HELLP Syndrome. For my safety, the doctors needed to get the baby out as quickly as possible. From there it was all a blur of crying, shaking, shots, doctors, and then the best thing of all, the sound of Swen's crying! I was

Since the day Swen arrived, I have felt more love and more tired than I ever knew possible. I knew I'd love him, but I did not know how much. Still to this day I find myself just staring at him and usually crying (if not sobbing) because I love him so much. Of course I knew I'd be tired. Wait, that's a lie. I had NO idea how tired I would be. I figured it would be like a long day of teaching kindergarten. Ha! I didn't know that still, 6 weeks later, I have yet to get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep in a row. Oh, did I mention that 3 hours of sleep in a row is a luxury? The average is about 2. The amazing thing is that I am still functioning! And when there are moments that I don't think I can do it anymore, Swen looks up at me with his perfect eyes--his perfect everything really-- and I suddenly have the energy conquer the world. Now I'm crying again, great!

Don't worry, my crying hasn't stopped Swen from doing some adorable things! My grandma always told my mom to write down all of the cute things her kids did because one day she might not remember them. Here is my attempt to take my grandma's advice:

1. We have these dark brown ceiling fans in most room of the house. For some reason Swen LOVES these fans. It doesn't matter what we're doing, the second he sees the fan, he stops everything and stares at it with huge eyes. His forehead gets all wrinkled like he is pondering something. It's adorable.
2. The way he stretches. Yes, I know all babies stretch, but this is Swen stretching, so it's cuter. He arches his back, turns his head, and curls up his legs. It is a full body stretch, and I love it.
3. He makes a kissy face all the time. Whenever he's awake, he opens his eyes wide and puckers up his lips to make the perfect kiss. Matt and I crack up every time he does it.
4. His milk face. Again, this is something all nursing babies have, but these are Swen's lips, so they're cuter. Whenever he's done nursing, he looks up at me with pure white lips, milk dripping down his face, and a look of complete happiness.
5. He doesn't like to be put down. Some people may think this is a negative, but I definitely don't. That means he loves people and knows that he is loved by us. I can put him in a front pack and get things done, so why not carry him?
I know there are other things that I'm not thinking of right now, so I'm sure more lists will be coming.

I couldn't be more blessed to have Swen. These are some of the best parts of being his mom:

1. Being Swen's favorite person. I never let Swen cry. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the sound of his cry makes my heart hurt. Second, letting him cry shows him that he is not being heard. He is a helpless little person, and his cry means he needs something, so the second he starts crying, I hold him. It doesn't matter whom he's with or what I'm doing. Because of this he calms down instantly right when I pick him up. I LOVE that! He knows that I will always be there for him, and I'll always do everything I can to make him happy.
2. Breastfeeding. I always planned on nursing mostly because of the benefits. I'm not going to list them all here, but there are dozens of amazing things that come from breastfeeding. I didn't plan on enjoying it so much. Nursing Swen bonds me closer to him every time I feed him. It relaxes the both of us throughout the day. I also get a huge sense of accomplishment knowing I am capable of growing a human! I've grown him 2 pounds already; how crazy is that? Even though Matt can't nurse, I'm going to give him credit for Swen's growth too. He is very supportive of me nursing which makes it that much easier. Because I only breastfeed, I get to take Swen everywhere. I don't have the option of leaving him with other people, and I love this too. I have not yet felt the need for a break from him. I feel so bonded to him, and I'm always happier when he's with me. I truly believe that breastfeeding has given me that connection to him.
3. Sleeping with Swen in our bed. Yes, that's right; we are choosing to have him in our bed. I love snuggling with him at night.
4. Every single day, he looks more like his Daddy!
There are many more things that have made the past 6 weeks perfect, but Swen is needing me, so that's all for now.