6 Weeks and Loving It

6 weeks ago today...

I don't remember much about it except for a nurse coming in and saying, "So, are you ready to have this baby?" Really? Is that the best way a nurse can think of to tell someone that she will be having her baby over 4 weeks early? Needless to say, it was a huge shock. Not only that, but I would need a C-section due to something called HELLP Syndrome. For my safety, the doctors needed to get the baby out as quickly as possible. From there it was all a blur of crying, shaking, shots, doctors, and then the best thing of all, the sound of Swen's crying! I was

Since the day Swen arrived, I have felt more love and more tired than I ever knew possible. I knew I'd love him, but I did not know how much. Still to this day I find myself just staring at him and usually crying (if not sobbing) because I love him so much. Of course I knew I'd be tired. Wait, that's a lie. I had NO idea how tired I would be. I figured it would be like a long day of teaching kindergarten. Ha! I didn't know that still, 6 weeks later, I have yet to get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep in a row. Oh, did I mention that 3 hours of sleep in a row is a luxury? The average is about 2. The amazing thing is that I am still functioning! And when there are moments that I don't think I can do it anymore, Swen looks up at me with his perfect eyes--his perfect everything really-- and I suddenly have the energy conquer the world. Now I'm crying again, great!

Don't worry, my crying hasn't stopped Swen from doing some adorable things! My grandma always told my mom to write down all of the cute things her kids did because one day she might not remember them. Here is my attempt to take my grandma's advice:

1. We have these dark brown ceiling fans in most room of the house. For some reason Swen LOVES these fans. It doesn't matter what we're doing, the second he sees the fan, he stops everything and stares at it with huge eyes. His forehead gets all wrinkled like he is pondering something. It's adorable.
2. The way he stretches. Yes, I know all babies stretch, but this is Swen stretching, so it's cuter. He arches his back, turns his head, and curls up his legs. It is a full body stretch, and I love it.
3. He makes a kissy face all the time. Whenever he's awake, he opens his eyes wide and puckers up his lips to make the perfect kiss. Matt and I crack up every time he does it.
4. His milk face. Again, this is something all nursing babies have, but these are Swen's lips, so they're cuter. Whenever he's done nursing, he looks up at me with pure white lips, milk dripping down his face, and a look of complete happiness.
5. He doesn't like to be put down. Some people may think this is a negative, but I definitely don't. That means he loves people and knows that he is loved by us. I can put him in a front pack and get things done, so why not carry him?
I know there are other things that I'm not thinking of right now, so I'm sure more lists will be coming.

I couldn't be more blessed to have Swen. These are some of the best parts of being his mom:

1. Being Swen's favorite person. I never let Swen cry. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the sound of his cry makes my heart hurt. Second, letting him cry shows him that he is not being heard. He is a helpless little person, and his cry means he needs something, so the second he starts crying, I hold him. It doesn't matter whom he's with or what I'm doing. Because of this he calms down instantly right when I pick him up. I LOVE that! He knows that I will always be there for him, and I'll always do everything I can to make him happy.
2. Breastfeeding. I always planned on nursing mostly because of the benefits. I'm not going to list them all here, but there are dozens of amazing things that come from breastfeeding. I didn't plan on enjoying it so much. Nursing Swen bonds me closer to him every time I feed him. It relaxes the both of us throughout the day. I also get a huge sense of accomplishment knowing I am capable of growing a human! I've grown him 2 pounds already; how crazy is that? Even though Matt can't nurse, I'm going to give him credit for Swen's growth too. He is very supportive of me nursing which makes it that much easier. Because I only breastfeed, I get to take Swen everywhere. I don't have the option of leaving him with other people, and I love this too. I have not yet felt the need for a break from him. I feel so bonded to him, and I'm always happier when he's with me. I truly believe that breastfeeding has given me that connection to him.
3. Sleeping with Swen in our bed. Yes, that's right; we are choosing to have him in our bed. I love snuggling with him at night.
4. Every single day, he looks more like his Daddy!
There are many more things that have made the past 6 weeks perfect, but Swen is needing me, so that's all for now.