Words of Advice

Recently, I've come to discover a big mistake I made. I thought I'd share it, hoping nobody follows in my footsteps.

DON'T buy a dog just because you want a baby. About two years ago, I started thinking that I really wanted a baby. However, timing wasn't quite right, and babies don't just come "on demand" like TV shows. So what's the next best thing? A dog of course! I have always loved boxers, so I started looking into boxer breeders in Utah. I even contacted one asking about price and colors. She said her next litter should be coming in August and she would let me know when the puppies arrived. When I asked Matt about getting a dog, he kept saying, "You can decide. You'll make the right choice." I decided to wait a little bit, thinking that would help. Then, this breeder contacted me saying she had a puppy who was a little older than usual because the elderly woman who originally bought her couldn't take care of her (what 90 year old woman buys a boxer puppy??). She then started putting pictures of this adorable owner-less puppy all over my Facebook! I was in school meetings, and I started texting Matt right away. He was being his usual self and completely ignored anything to do with buying a dog. Since he didn't say no, I told the lady I wanted her! I was so excited. I  called Matt, and he said, "Are you serious?" He may or may not have said a swear word mixed in that sentence as well. I told him I needed to drive to Nephi to pick her up, and I had no idea where that was, but he said he wasn't coming with me.  (Needless to say, he didn't really want a dog). So I called my mom, and she was more than happy to drive with me. She loves boxers too! When we picked her up, she was the sweetest dog ever. I just loved her. See how excited I was?

The joy continued for a long time. Matt even grew to love her. She really was the best dog ever. We took her to Petco on shopping trips and walked her to various places. We even took her to restaurants that had outside eating, so she could come with us. It was wonderful. Then a few months later I was pregnant! How exciting! I dreamed of Kitty playing with our little baby. It was all going to be great. Then I got home from the hospital and when I saw Kitty, I cried. I couldn't believe I had to take care of this little person all on my own, and I sure didn't want a dog to take care of too. On top of that, Kitty started chewing up every thing in the house the day Swen came home. She also started climbing on the kitchen counters to find food, which never happened until Swen came home. Now that Swen is older, I actually love seeing them play together. He LOVES her, and she is amazing with him. She lets him pull, scratch, hit, and bite her. She is a great dog with kids, and I think as Swen gets older, the fun will grow. However, after she chews my shoes, clothes, Swen's books and toys, or eats an entire box of freshly baked fudge off the counter (don't worry, she's okay), I REALLY wish I didn't get her.

My advice: don't buy a dog just because you want a baby.

LIfe at 9 Months

Swen has been out in this world longer than he was inside of me now. Since he was five weeks early, this actually happened a while ago, but I didn't really think about it until just now. He has brought Matt and me more joy than we could have ever imagined. In addition to the pure and most unconditional love imaginable, he has brought stress and exhaustion this past month.

Let's start with all the great things. Swen has the best personality ever. He is always talking and laughing. Right now his vocabulary consists mostly of "ga" and "ba." He sometimes throws some other sounds in there, but those are definitely his most favorite words. He uses these two words to talk about whatever he is feeling. He will proudly say "ga" when he has stood up tall all by himself. Then will loudly yell "ga" when he is really mad about something. I love it.

Swen moves around everywhere. He crawls and cruises along the furniture to find dangerous things to play with. He really loves cords, cell phones, laptops, and most of all Kitty's food. I'm pretty sure I've had to change his clothes 4 times this week from him getting into Kitty's water. He also loves to follow me wherever I go and help with whatever I'm doing.

Swen is starting to love people food. He still hates all baby food (can you blame him?) but loves to eat what we are eating. His favorites right now are cheese and chicken. One thing that is a little troubling is that he despises fruits. Of course the one thing that I really didn't want to pass on to him was my disgust for those slimy things that grow on trees. However, I'm afraid this might be the case. He has not liked any of the fruits we have given him to try. Just this morning he took a banana and threw it on the ground before even trying it, and then went on to eat the cheese and toast on his tray. We will keep trying, but it isn't looking very promising. He also still LOVES to nurse. So do I.

At his 9 month appointment, we learned that we have one short, fat baby! He is in the 48 percentile for weight and the 11 percentile for height This didn't surprise us because all his clothes are way to long, yet tight around the waist. Some words people have used to describe him are round, fat, thick, chubby, and like a brick. We were so grateful to find out he is still perfectly healthy and developing great.

With all these great developments, Swen has decided that sleep is not something he wants to do anymore. I'm sure most of these blog posts mention his sleeping habits, probably for two different reasons. First,  I LOVE to sleep. Before he was born, I slept ten hours a night and napped every day. It was wonderful. So getting used to little sleep has been the hardest adjustment for me. Second, Swen is the absolute worst sleeper that has ever been born. He is sleeping worse than when we was a newborn. I feel wonderful when he gives me three hours in a row. Sadly, I haven't had three hours in a row in a while now. I think in February he had two "good" nights where he only woke up 3 or 4 times. Other nights he wakes up at least ever hour. I honestly don't know what to do. Our newest idea was to remove a side of Swen's crib and then connect the crib to our bed. To the left is how it worked last night.

Tonight will be night two, so maybe it will go better.

Along with this no sleep, I'm trying to keep him alive. Between head bonks, electrical sockets, bath tub gymnastics, potential fingers slammed in drawers, stairs, and choking hazards, I'm always saving him from something. It is very wearing, and I'm sure it's only going to get worse one he learns to walk.

Sometimes I get discouraged because all my days consist of preventing Swen from killing himself, as well as playing with him while trying to keep up with housework. At the end of the night, I'm exhausted from working SO hard but then feel like I have nothing to show for it. Then there are the endless questions like "When are you going back to teach?" and  "Isn't Matt still in school- don't you guys need money?" I know nobody is trying to stress me out, and I'm overly sensitive because of being tired, but these questions make me tear up. I often wish I never got my degree because then people wouldn't expect me to be teaching. I have a contract on my fridge for next year for a teaching job that would give us a salary again with great benefits, making it so we would not have to worry about money at all.

But then, just now, I read something that I've read before, but not since I've had Swen: "Mothers who have young children in the home should devote their primary energies to the companionship and training of their children and the care of their families, and should not seek employment outside the home unless there is no other way that the family's basic needs can be provided." - Dallin H. Oaks. In this economy there are so many women who would love to be able to stay home with their kids but have to work to help support the family. I am so grateful to be able to stay home and be a full time mom, and I'm blessed to have a college degree for emergencies. Instead of getting sad or defensive when people question what I'm doing with my life, I'm going to try and be proud and say, "I'm a mom! Matt and I choose to have 'less' so I can be a stay-at-home mom. It's the most important job in the world and I get to do it." 

I truly love being a mommy more than I can describe. I am so grateful to have Swen and the opportunity to take care of him.This was a long post, but I still feel it is missing something. Oh yes, Swen pictures.

I did not put him in a bowl. That would be his daddy.

He Crawls!

As of Tuesday, February 5th, 2013 Swen is an amazing crawler. He has been working on this for a long time and all of a sudden he was a pro! In the last three days he has been crawling everywhere and getting into everything. He LOVES to be mobile. His favorite is to crawl to where ever I am sitting and try to climb up on me. He also likes to follow me around our little house. I am so proud of him. There are also going to be tons of pictures that follow this video of him crawling, so get ready!

A Day in the Life of Swen

I can't even believe that Swen is now 8 months old. All moms say that time just flies, and now I actually believe them. Our Swen has developed the best personality I could imagine. It's clear he is a little person in there. Matt and I love getting him to laugh. It's not hard because he is one happy baby! Wonder what a day in the life of Swen is like?.... Probably not. However, this is a blog for my records, and I think I may look back and want to know what he did all day.

Wakes up between 7:00 and 8:00. Mommy prefers the later days.

Nurses in bed while watching the news on NBC. Swen really likes Matt Lauer.

Plays quietly with Mommy for a while so daddy can sleep. Daddy goes to school full time and works almost full time, so he needs to sleep in.

Swen plays with Daddy from 9-10 so Mommy can go to the gym and work out with Terrianne.

Mommy comes home, and Swen nurses lots more.

Daddy goes to work or school depending on the day.

Swen takes a nap in the rocking chair around 10:00-11:00.

Swen plays some more. His favorite toys are the Johnny Jump up, glow worm, anything that sings and lights up, and mommy's keys. He can sit up now all by himself.

Swen loves to sit in the highchair while mommy does things around the house.

Swen nurses some more and then takes another nap in the rocking chair from about 1:00-2:30.

Swen wakes up and plays, plays, plays until he's worn out. He is trying REALLY hard to crawl. He's getting super close. Mommy is looking forward to him crawling just so he is happier from not face planting all the time.

Swen nurses some more.

Sometimes Swen will take a little nap in the evening but not always.

Swen takes a bath around 7:30 and usually goes to bed around 8:00 or 8:30.

Where does Swen sleep? How often does Swen get up? It's a surprise every night.

As you can see, our days are very exciting! Of course there are lots of grocery store trips, mall trips, fast food trips, and church.

I'm loving being an at-home mommy more and more every day. I get to see all of Swen's developments and watch his personality grow. Lastly, here is a list of my favorite things about him.

1. He has learned how to reach up when he wants me. I LOVE this. I pick him up as fast as possible, so he knows I will always get him when he needs me.

2. He gets the biggest smile on his face when Matt gets home. I must be boring to look at all day, haha.

3. He still hates all food... which means he just nurses more and more. I can't complain. It is the only time he snuggles with me anymore when he's awake.

4. He really doesn't mind being held by a variety of people as long as I'm around. He definitely has his favorites but still will be content with others for a while.

5. He loves Kitty. They play together all the time.

6. He's huge; he is wearing 12 month clothes. His cheeks are to die for.

7. EVERYTHING else he does. He's perfect.

Christmas 2012

I keep thinking that I need to write a blog for Swen's first Christmas. The problem is it would be a blog that never ended. I will try to sum it up fast. We started off with our first little family Christmas. For Matt not liking Christmas very much, he was sure excited to run Swen out to the tree so he could open the little presents we got for him. We then had Christmas with my family in the day and Matt's family at night. Overall, it was a wonderful day. All three of us got way too many amazing gifts from our families. Swen, of course, liked the wrapping paper the best. I didn't know I could love Christmas any more than I had in the past. But sure enough, a Christmas with Swen made it a million times better.

This year, it seemed I was always on the verge of tears thinking about how grateful I am for all my blessings. I hate to write a blog where I brag and say how perfect my life is. It is definitely not perfect. I am often tired which leads to grumpy. I am impatient which sometimes leads to rude. I get overwhelmed (a direct result of lack of sleep) which leads to guilt because I'm home all day with a dirty house and dirty laundry and no food cooked for dinner. Yet, overall I am happier than I have ever been in my life for all the simple things: a healthy baby; Matt's good job; families who love us; and most importantly, the knowledge of the gospel.

Constantly going through my mind this season is how grateful I am for our Savior. He made it possible for us to be with our families for eternity.

Here's the usual picture overload!

Goodbye Baby Books

This past week has been rough with Swen's sleeping. Two weeks ago was great. We just started putting him in his crib, and he was doing awesome. He had several stretches of 5, 6, and even a 7-hour stretch of sleep. I thought to myself, "Go me! I was able to teach my baby how to sleep through the night without all those baby training books or letting him cry it out." Sure enough my pride got the best of me because then it got worse. I think after those few nights, he figured out that he wasn't with me anymore but all alone in a cold, dark, baby jail (his really nice comfortable crib). This past week he has been waking up at least every hour.

I have one book that I have LOVED reading from the start. It is by the Sears family (all pediatricians and nurses) who teach attachment parenting. The three main things they are famous for are carrying your baby in a sling at home and while running errands, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping at night. I was planning to do all of these things before I read their book, so when I read it and found doctors that support these things, I was thrilled! I go to their book for everything. The other thing they emphasize is a mother's intuition. The fact that if one listens and respond to a baby's cues, a mother will know exactly what that baby needs. I have always thought this was true until this last week.

Sleep deprivation definitely took over. I was doubting everything I've done for the past 6 months. I kept thinking that it's my fault he isn't sleeping. As I rocked Swen, I resorted to buying a couple cheap baby training books on my nook. I read two different ones that day. They didn't sound too bad. They were both "no cry it out" methods because that method is not an option for me. Lots of AMAZING moms I know swear by it, but personally, I don't like the idea. As I was reading these books, I just got more down on myself. One of them has a list of these things called "accidental parenting" strategies. Supposedly all of them make it so your baby doesn't have a schedule and doesn't sleep. Ha, sure enough, I do ALL of them. They are things like feeding your baby anytime he is hungry instead of waiting every four hours, rocking/walking your baby to sleep, feeding your baby to sleep in the middle of the night when he awakes, and  taking your baby out of the house during his nap time. The list goes on and on. I decided I wasn't going to completely change the way I've parented when he has grown so happy and healthy.

The other one has a pick up/put down method of teaching babies to sleep. Pretty much for naps and night time, you lay your baby down awake. When he cries pick him up, the second he stops, you lay him back down. You do this over and over again. I guess it can take up to 100 times every time he needs to go to sleep for this to work. Plus it takes weeks for him to eventually be trained to the point that he doesn't cry anymore. Well I tried this maybe 10 times before I was done. Matt tried it about 10 times before he was done. This is exactly what the author warns against. "You can't give up after one try. It will work. You must keep doing it. It is in your baby's best interest!" Good thing she wasn't watching us.

After a week of bad sleep  I talked to my mom about how I have ruined Swen forever. She said, "Shulamith, stop reading these stupid books and parent support group suggestions  You are an amazing mom, and you know exactly what Swen needs. Stop taking other people's advice, and do what comes naturally to you and what you think is best for Swen." I love my mom because that is exactly what I needed to hear.

Let me finish by telling you about all the "accidental parenting" I did last night. First, I nursed Swen to sleep. Then I just rocked my sleeping angel while watching Barbra Walters'  "10 most fascinating people." I then laid him in his crib where he fell fast asleep. He woke up 10 minutes later. I got up, picked him up and took him to bed with me. He slept great. When he woke up I let him nurse quietly back to sleep. This morning he didn't want to be in bed anymore at like 5:45. We went out to the rocking chair where the two of us slept together until 8. What a wonderful night and morning we had. The main reason I wanted Swen to be in his crib is so Matt would be able to come sleep in bed with me. This last week  we learned that we both sleep better with all three of us in bed together. I know one day Swen will sleep in his crib, but not until he's ready. For now it makes a great play pen. He loves playing in there.

Here is my official goodbye to all baby training books. I will stick with the Sears family who trust my ability to know what's best for Swen. Look at how happy he is! I can't figure out how to make these pictures bigger. :(

He loves to pretend he's drinking out of my cups. This one was for pretzel bites... it's not dirty.

Look how cute I am in my PJ's and penguin hat.

I love this outfit my grandma got him. 

Christmas jammies!

Smiles!

So excited waiting to listen to Christmas music at the mall.

Mom Goals

I've heard people talk about how annoying it is to read others' blogs because they are all so happy and fake, almost as if they are writing them to brag about how great their lives are. I don't feel that way at all. Writing about the positives in life is just a way to be grateful for all the blessings we have. I love hearing how other people are doing and the many joys in their lives. I especially like to hear about other people's perfect little children. It makes me miss when Swen was tiny but also look forward to all the fun stages that are to come. So it isn't annoyance I'm feeling, more of a lack of "mom" skills. I have tried a few of these things with support from others, but never on my own. Here are four goals that I really want to accomplish all by myself sometime soon.

1. Make Homemade bread- I would love to have this! I have actually made bread before with some help; it was really hard. I eat bread for all three meals of the day (don't judge me). I love any kind of bread there is. I swear in every blog I read, the writer makes her own yummy bread. Every time I read about a new loaf of bread, I want some so badly. I keep thinking I will try and make some bread, but I never get brave enough to try.

2. Sew Something- I get on Pintrest and pin all these cute ideas of things I want to make. There are SO many cute things out there, and they don't look too hard. Look at this skirt. It is made from a men's dress shirt. Does it get any cuter?
 I think it is so adorable, and I want to make it. I really think I can do it.

3. Cook Good Food- My goal is to not ruin a dinner for an entire week. This goal may sound easy. It's not. I ruin food all the time. Matt says he is throwing my crock pot away because everything I make in it is gross. I find recipes that look so good. Then they are gross. To achieve this goal, I will probably make the two things I know are good over and over.

4. Read Scriptures to Swen- I swear everyone I know does some amazing scripture/prayer/song session with her babies every day. This is a good habit. I can read him a verse, pray with him, and then sing to him. I know he is little now, but I think it would great to get into the habit early.

While I may not be the typical "crafty, cooky, mom," I am very proud of myself because Swen is a healthy, happy, growing little angel. He...

Has tripled his weight in 6 months from breastfeeding exclusively.
Can talk and tell amazing stories.
Is able to roll over anywhere he wants.
Has yet to get sick even once.
Doesn't scream in his car seat anymore.
Falls asleep in his car seat or stroller quite often.
Has grown 4 teeth!
Smiles at everyone.
Doesn't like any baby food (video to follow).
Loves being held during his naps in the rocking chair.
Grabs everything he can. He even stole a nice tie from Sears for my brother who is on a mission.
Can sit up for quite a while before falling down.
Loves taking showers and baths.

Swen is the greatest blessing I've ever received. I truly didn't know how amazing life could be or how much I could possibly love someone until now. I am so grateful for him in every way. Here he is!