Goodbye Baby Books

This past week has been rough with Swen's sleeping. Two weeks ago was great. We just started putting him in his crib, and he was doing awesome. He had several stretches of 5, 6, and even a 7-hour stretch of sleep. I thought to myself, "Go me! I was able to teach my baby how to sleep through the night without all those baby training books or letting him cry it out." Sure enough my pride got the best of me because then it got worse. I think after those few nights, he figured out that he wasn't with me anymore but all alone in a cold, dark, baby jail (his really nice comfortable crib). This past week he has been waking up at least every hour.

I have one book that I have LOVED reading from the start. It is by the Sears family (all pediatricians and nurses) who teach attachment parenting. The three main things they are famous for are carrying your baby in a sling at home and while running errands, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping at night. I was planning to do all of these things before I read their book, so when I read it and found doctors that support these things, I was thrilled! I go to their book for everything. The other thing they emphasize is a mother's intuition. The fact that if one listens and respond to a baby's cues, a mother will know exactly what that baby needs. I have always thought this was true until this last week.

Sleep deprivation definitely took over. I was doubting everything I've done for the past 6 months. I kept thinking that it's my fault he isn't sleeping. As I rocked Swen, I resorted to buying a couple cheap baby training books on my nook. I read two different ones that day. They didn't sound too bad. They were both "no cry it out" methods because that method is not an option for me. Lots of AMAZING moms I know swear by it, but personally, I don't like the idea. As I was reading these books, I just got more down on myself. One of them has a list of these things called "accidental parenting" strategies. Supposedly all of them make it so your baby doesn't have a schedule and doesn't sleep. Ha, sure enough, I do ALL of them. They are things like feeding your baby anytime he is hungry instead of waiting every four hours, rocking/walking your baby to sleep, feeding your baby to sleep in the middle of the night when he awakes, and  taking your baby out of the house during his nap time. The list goes on and on. I decided I wasn't going to completely change the way I've parented when he has grown so happy and healthy.

The other one has a pick up/put down method of teaching babies to sleep. Pretty much for naps and night time, you lay your baby down awake. When he cries pick him up, the second he stops, you lay him back down. You do this over and over again. I guess it can take up to 100 times every time he needs to go to sleep for this to work. Plus it takes weeks for him to eventually be trained to the point that he doesn't cry anymore. Well I tried this maybe 10 times before I was done. Matt tried it about 10 times before he was done. This is exactly what the author warns against. "You can't give up after one try. It will work. You must keep doing it. It is in your baby's best interest!" Good thing she wasn't watching us.

After a week of bad sleep  I talked to my mom about how I have ruined Swen forever. She said, "Shulamith, stop reading these stupid books and parent support group suggestions  You are an amazing mom, and you know exactly what Swen needs. Stop taking other people's advice, and do what comes naturally to you and what you think is best for Swen." I love my mom because that is exactly what I needed to hear.

Let me finish by telling you about all the "accidental parenting" I did last night. First, I nursed Swen to sleep. Then I just rocked my sleeping angel while watching Barbra Walters'  "10 most fascinating people." I then laid him in his crib where he fell fast asleep. He woke up 10 minutes later. I got up, picked him up and took him to bed with me. He slept great. When he woke up I let him nurse quietly back to sleep. This morning he didn't want to be in bed anymore at like 5:45. We went out to the rocking chair where the two of us slept together until 8. What a wonderful night and morning we had. The main reason I wanted Swen to be in his crib is so Matt would be able to come sleep in bed with me. This last week  we learned that we both sleep better with all three of us in bed together. I know one day Swen will sleep in his crib, but not until he's ready. For now it makes a great play pen. He loves playing in there.

Here is my official goodbye to all baby training books. I will stick with the Sears family who trust my ability to know what's best for Swen. Look at how happy he is! I can't figure out how to make these pictures bigger. :(

He loves to pretend he's drinking out of my cups. This one was for pretzel bites... it's not dirty.

Look how cute I am in my PJ's and penguin hat.

I love this outfit my grandma got him. 

Christmas jammies!

Smiles!

So excited waiting to listen to Christmas music at the mall.