Remember how forever ago I wrote a blog about breastfeeding? I wrote how wonderful it is and how much I love it. I also wrote how I had no need for a pump because I am blessed to be able to stay at home with Swen. Well, it's still wonderful, but after 13 months I had to go buy a breast pump.
Swen had been sick for a couple days starting Thursday. Friday night he was having a horrible time sleeping (worse than normal, and it's always bad). He wouldn't nurse and actually bit me really hard a couple times. He had never bitten me before! It scared me, and I jumped and firmly said, "Don't bite me, Swen." He screamed for a bit and finally, I just decided to take him out to the rocking chair to hold him so maybe we could both sleep.
Just as I got him to sleep in the rocking chair, I discovered I was freezing cold. Like I was shivering to death. I had a warm baby and two blankets on me. I didn't want to move because Swen was finally asleep. After an hour and a half of shivering, I finally laid Swen down and took some medicine. I went into the bedroom to wake up Matt, hoping he could help me get warm, and after about an hour, I finally fell asleep. I didn't wake up til 10:30. I never sleep that long anymore. I woke up feeling a little better, but not great.
Swen only nurses a few times a day now, usually mornings, nap time, and night time. Considering it was morning, I went to feed Swen but he wouldn't nurse. He would put his mouth on me and then take it off and cry. I must have scared him really badly the night before because he was totally afraid to nurse! Meanwhile, I was becoming more and more engorged as the day went on and feeling sicker and sicker. I was pretty sure I had mastitis, but hoped I could make it go away on my own. The problem is that the best cure is to nurse lots, but Swen would NOT nurse. He was miserable. He wouldn't eat, drink from his sippy cups , or nurse. He would just cry to me and do what he does when he wants to nurse. Then I would try to nurse him, and he would get scared and cry. Over and over. It was sad for me to see him so upset when there was nothing I could do. I really thought this was it, that he was done nursing. Would it be the end of the world? No. He is 13 months old after all! But I always thought I would at least know when the "last time" would be.
As the day progressed, nothing changed except I felt worse and worse. Finally, at around 6:00, I decided I needed to go buy a breast pump. I was so engorged and sore. I found an electric pump for $60 (money we do not have right now). I went home and read the directions on how to use the thing. Sure enough, it was pretty simple and it actually worked! I couldn't believe that there was actually milk coming out! I was able to get 5 ounces from both sides. I am sure that Swen gets WAY more milk than that because he is efficient, but I am grateful that the cheapest pump I could find worked that well and made me feel a little better.
Considering Swen hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day, I wanted him to drink this milk! He had never had a bottle before because there was no need to give him one. He just uses sippy cups to drink. Earlier in the day, I had tried a random bottle, thinking maybe he would drink some regular milk from it, but he threw it right down. But this pump came with its own bottle, so I put the breast milk I had pumped in it and gave it to him. At first screamed at me for even trying, but I just shoved it in his mouth, so he could see what it was. He hit the bottle onto the floor and then stopped short and looked at me as if to say, "This is what I want!" He grabbed the bottle off the floor and started chugging. He chugged the entire bottle in minutes. It made me tear up to watch him. I knew he had wanted my milk all day, but he was too scared to nurse. But even after this bottle, he still wouldn't.
Swen was feeling better because he had gotten what he needed, but I was getting worse. So off to the doctor I went. I put it off a long time becuase we don't have insurance right now, and it is $140 to walk into a clinic. Luckily, I didn't change my last name, and my mom has a Flex card that I was able to use. Because we have the same last name, I could pass as one of her unmarried children.
When I got there, I had a temperature of 103 and my heart rate was way up from the high fever. My left breast was badly infected and red. I had been so focused on getting Swen to nurse that I hadn't realized how sick I was. The doctor gave me a shot with a huge dose of antibiotics so they would start working right away. I came home and, once again, tried to nurse Swen, but he still wouldn't do it. So, I pumped some more, and he drank it from the bottle again.
Late Saturday night, after pumping AGAIN, my prayers were answered, and Swen nursed great. The pump was never able to drain me enough to not feel engorged, but Swen did the job. It hurt so badly on my infected side, but I know he needed to do it.
Long story, I know. But I have realized that I am so grateful for breast pumps. How wonderful is it that mothers who work can use them or those who have a baby that can't latch on. But I'm also grateful that I didn't have to use one this past year. It was such a hassle, and I truly admire moms who do it regularly! Washing the pump and the bottle was annoying, and while I was pumping I couldn't hold Swen or do anything for him, and it took FOREVER to get milk. Still, I'm glad I have a pump now for all my future babies who might need pumped milk at some point, and it was fun to see how they work.
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